...and the cradle will rock

For over 20 years I've been waiting for this to happen, and now it appears that it has. Van Halen with David Lee Roth. That's right. They're getting back together for a summer tour after first being inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame in March.

I was a Van Halen freak. When I was 12 years old it's pretty much all I talked about. My dad used to say that if they sold Van Halen toilet paper I'd buy it. I was sort of insulted by that comment at the time, but damn, some retro Diver Down-era Charmin would be a pretty cool thing to have up on a shelf.

Those first six albums rocked my world. They were larger than life. True rock stars in a very flamboyant way. They weren't quite a pretty boy glam band, and they weren't really a hair band either. They were party rock. Or cock rock, more appropriately. And David Lee Roth was lord of the cock rock.

Diamond Dave doesn't quite look the part anymore though. His hair has thinned and he looks like a bad caricature of his former self. Not that he couldn't rock out though. His last couple tours have been almost all Van Halen songs, and apparently he sounds pretty good.

I just wish they'd done this in 1996. They came so close. And they'd look a lot less absurd up there. But I'm willing to embrace a 2006 reunion under one condition, they ditch the bass player.

Eddie Van Halen's 15 year old son has no business being in Van Halen. I don't care that he has the last name. That seems to be part of Eddie's problem in the last several years. The name. How much simpler it would have been if back in the day David Lee Roth hadn't suggested they change their name from Mammouth to Van Halen. We come this close to a reunion, and now Van Halen's original bass player isn't invited? Because he has the nerve to want to play some rock and roll instead of sitting on his ass all the time, and accepts Sammy Hagar's invitation to play with him? Is Eddie Van Halen really that petty? And does Eddie forget that Michael Anthony sang all the backup vocal?

Valerie Bertinelli can't be that thrilled with the prospect of her 15 year old son touring the country with one of the world's most party happy bands. My hope is that she'll threaten legal action and Eddie will realize his error. If this doesn't work, maybe David Lee Roth looking at Wolfie and singing "have you seen junior's grades?" will do the trick. Child Protective Services will come a'knocking, and Michael Anthony will be reinstated in his rightful spot.

It's going to be really interesting though. The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame itself should get the fireworks going with the two warring camps: Hagar/Anthony and Van Halen/Roth all nominated under the name Van Halen. I hope someone's going to document this whole thing. It would make killer reality TV.