stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

The cd player at work is skipping, and my ipod hasn't been updated in a long time. So I decided to do something about it. Go old school, if you will. Bring in cassettes, and crank them up.

First up is a live album by The Smiths called Rank. It came out in 1988, and I haven't really been played it more than a couple times since 1990. I remember liking it a lot though. It was raw and emphasized the guitars. It's basically the sound of a rock band beating Morrissey into submission.

When I was a kid I bought a lot of cassettes. I started out on vinyl, and I bought a lot since then in the late 1990's when I got on a streak, but it was the cassette that pretty much dominated my youth.

Every scrap of money I earned, whether it was my allowance when I was younger, or the fast food paychecks that started around 14, went to buying tapes. Well, that and cigarettes.

The last time I brought in a stack of tapes to play at work was 1988. I was working at this ice cream place called Swensens in a mall in Kansas City. They served sandwiches and had a little cafe thing going on during the day, but at night it was all ice cream, and the place was run by a bunch of 15 year olds.

I was the first of the ruffians to get hired. Then I got a bunch of friends jobs there. Pretty soon we're all sitting at the back table smoking cigarettes and listening to tapes.

I remember a girl I like introduced me to The Clash. Combat Rock. Then she ended up giving me the tape for some reason. Well, probably because she liked me. I also remember playing some R.E.M. albums, as well as the new David Lee Roth album. Weird time. I was into pretty much everything.

It was Led Zeppelin that got me in trouble though. I think it was Led Zeppelin II. My friend Mike had introduced me to Led Zeppelin the previous year. Well, beyond Led Zeppelin IV anyway. I'd had that one for a while. Mike was great. He gave me one tape at a time. Teased me with it, and hinted at what would come next. Man, what I'd give to experience "Houses Of The Holy" or "Led Zeppelin III" again for the first time like that.

I showed up for my shift as usual around 4:30. Tina, the firecracker redhead manager, was still there. Which was a little unusual. Usually she left early and I didn't have to deal with her. I'd had my run-ins in the past. She wasn't too fond of me leaving my Camel Lights in the freezer, for instance. Back at the back table one of my 15 year old friends had told me that cigarettes taste more refreshing if you keep them in the freezer. Tina didn't like this.

I was far from an ideal worker. Some kid sitting at the back table with a smoke hanging out of their mouth isn't exactly what someone wants to see when they bring their grandchildren in for an ice cream cone. I spent more time socializing than cleaning or restocking items too. But I felt like I was sort of invincible because I'd gotten so many people jobs there.

"We need to talk," Tina said. I thought maybe she was going to get on me for smoking at the back table or something. I knew she didn't like me. I was a hire of the clueless old people who owned the place. They were nice and seemed to like me on the Saturday mornings I had to work with them. But they were probably in bed by the middle of my 5-9 evening shift.

"I'm going to have to let you go."

I was shocked and I asked her why.

"For playing Led Zeppelin too loud."

I didn't know what to say. She hit me where it hurt. She insulted Led Zeppelin. "What's wrong with playing Led Zeppelin?'

This got her going. "Some people don't like Led Zeppelin, Todd. I don't like Led Zeppelin."

I was horrified. This was beyond belief. How could anyone in their right mind, especially an older person in their early 20's, not like Led Zeppelin? Suddenly I didn't want to work for her anymore. But I cared about references. My food service career was at stake. What if someone called and asked about me?

"Well," Tina said, "I suppose I could lie a little."

I really missed that place. There was nothing like sitting at the back table with your friends, smoking cigarettes, complaining about school and parents, and then making malts and ice cream sundaes for each other. Life didn't get much better than that.

Thanks Tina. You ruined my life.